It's Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel, But...

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
02/18/2020 at 10:50 • Filed to: bring a trailer full of money

I have to share two cars from BaT right now. One, a 1986 Audi 4000 CS Quattro. In a beautiful shade of blue. A friend acquired one of these years ago for FREE; running, but with a plethora of issues. We beat on it for a while before... I have no idea what happened to it. It should have gone to Team O’Neil, they would have taken it in any condition. But anyway, despite being totally, utterly thrashed, it still got around fine and was an absolute tank in the snow.

In contrast, h ere’s probably one of the nicest ones left on the planet:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Ugh, it’s beautiful.

Then, this:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Part of me says “wow it’s had pretty much all the expensive maintenance done, and recently enough that I wouldn’t have to do any of those things.”

And part of me says “holy shit look at all the money someone spent on this car in the last couple years - just think, that could be me!” And forget the expense, it’s worth it to me if the car is rewarding to drive.

But mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I love that profile, it’s not modified, and as much as I love the space of my XC70, boy do I wish it was lower, better handling, and faster, and also manual, all of which apply to this clean-looking V70R.

It’s insane to sell my perfectly-fine 2012 XC70 and buy this older, higher-maintenance machine for probably a wash.

But I WANT IT.

DISCUSSION (17)

NinetyQ > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 11:14

That V70R could be amazing, especially if the price doesn’t go to high.

Not so keen on the Audi though. From the rear it looks pretty good, but from the front angle... idk. Something about it just looks like an old Buick to me. I think it’s the non-flush windows and door handles. Never have been a big fan of the pre-B3/C3 Audis, apart from the Ur-Quattro obviously.

Tripper > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 11:16

Wow that is the crispiest old Audi of that vintage that I have ever seen! Beautiful.

That V70R is tiddies. My sister had one before I was old enough to appreciate it.

For Sweden > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 11:36

I think I w ould prefer the Audi and it’s making me question my entire existence

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 11:52

When I was stationed in Germany, that car would be known as an Audi 80 and you could buy a plain one that was just FWD and a great little car. There were also Audi 100s (Audi 5000 here), same thing. Four-banger with a vacuum secondary carburetor that would open in a pronounced way at about 70 mph. Just a wonderful car that was dependable and easily maintained. But the 4000s and 5000s that were SO LOADED WITH FEATURES CRAP...

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > For Sweden
02/18/2020 at 11:53

I had a feeling you’d weigh in here. Please see my remark above.

For Sweden > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
02/18/2020 at 11:54

But it’s so boxy!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > For Sweden
02/18/2020 at 11:59

I like boxy (from the 70s and 80s) . But boxy is the new aero...

Kinja'd!!!

RallyWrench > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 12:26

I want that 4000 so badly. I had one for years, also free, and it was an absolute beast. We turned it into a LeMons car, where it remained a beast. Awesome cars.

functionoverfashion > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
02/18/2020 at 12:55

But locking diffs!!

functionoverfashion > RallyWrench
02/18/2020 at 12:57

Team O’Neil had a fleet of them that they got any way they could, then they thrashed them for YEARS as teaching tools. Could still be running some of them, although there’s a ready supply of beater Subarus and now E46 bmw’s both RWD and AWD, so they may have finally retired the Audis. I drove one as a student there, but that was 8 years ago.

functionoverfashion > Tripper
02/18/2020 at 12:58

A friend had a V70R manual and I definitely appreciated it. But a) it was lowered, so, strike one, and b) he thrashed it so I didn’t want to buy it anyway and then c) he crashed it.

functionoverfashion > For Sweden
02/18/2020 at 13:00

I’d love either one but the V70R would actually fit all my needs right now. It’s perfect in every way, except needing a third car for when the R is in the shop.

RallyWrench > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 13:28

I always wanted to go there to drive one in proper rally conditions. I beat the everliving shit out of mine , and it just asked for more without ever letting me down. I’ve wanted another one ever since we took mine off the road for LeMons. That was a mistake, I never even drove it after that.

Tripper > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 13:54

I don’t know why I’m reminded of this but when I worked as a valet it was the beginning of the online dating era, there was this guy who came in in an S60R every Friday. We called him “Matchdotcom”. Total asshole, the women he met up with never stayed more than 10-20 minutes as he would bring their PRINTED OUT dating profile with him and review it with them at the bar! They would often leave in tears or say things like “Worst date I have ever been on could someone please call a cab?”, or just “what an asshole!”

We used to par his car holding 5k rpm with the clutch just a smidge off the floor, haha.

fintail > functionoverfashion
02/18/2020 at 14:11

Wow, that B2, lovely. A maintenance chore I bet, but it has to be one of the best survivors. If one is a brand devotee, it’s still at a fair price, I think.

When I was a kid, a friend of my mom had a 4000 coupe (not the GT, more like a 2 door sedan) - haven’t seen one of those in ages.

functionoverfashion > RallyWrench
02/19/2020 at 09:26

I’ve gotten to drive there a few times, with Fiestas, Audis, Subarus, and my own BMW wagon. All good fun. I kinda felt like that about my wagons, too, especially the first one. I beat on that car pretty hard, and it never let me down. I was a lot nicer to my blue one, it was nicer to start with too.

functionoverfashion > Tripper
02/19/2020 at 09:28

Oh god the dating bit is so tragic. I can’t believe the guy kept doing it!? What did he think was going to happen?

Good work on the car.